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HUTCHINSON, Kan. (AP) — The stories they brought into Hutchinson High School classroom this year were admittedly “edgy,” said Donna Davis.
“Charlene,” for example, had a father described as an attorney and a big shot in their town. She knew it made her parents uncomfortable that she dated “Derek,” a lower-income black teen. All she wanted from Derek was “his undying loyalty and 100 percent undivided attention,” Charlene said.
Derek couldn’t even believe Charlene gave him the time of day. “She is always taking me to cool places that I could never afford on my own,” he said. “I feel like I hit the jackpot with her, but sometimes it is a little hard.”
What could go wrong?
The Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center Inc. used this and other real stories about teen dating to teach students at Hutchinson High how to recognize abusive relationships in their peer groups. The center hopes to expand their outreach next school year. Davis, the center’s executive director, told The Hutchinson News that the organization is contacting other high schools and will be meeting with representatives at Hutchinson Community College in June.
Charlene and Derek’s story came from the learning kit, “In Their Shoes,” a class period-long program developed by the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence. While names have been changed, the stories are real — about teens attempting to leave a relationship at a dangerous time, being called names or put down by a partner in text messages. They illustrate how dating violence can begin in middle school or high school.
Sometimes dating violence isn’t a black eye. Sometimes it’s controlling and emotional abuse, as the stories in “In Their Shoes” demonstrate.
Hutchinson High School teacher Aaron Miller opened his health classes for the “In Their Shoes” program. The Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center provided the activity kit, and the students were paired for the dating scenarios, such as Charlene and Derek.
They had to make choices as the relationship progressed.
“They are all in relationship trauma of some kind,” said Erica Grissom, an advocate at Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center, of the young couples’ stories in “In Their Shoes.”
One of the characters in “In Their Shoes” is named Cara, but is based on the story of Dayna Fure, who was killed by her ex-boyfriend ten days before she turned 18.
?‘I really thought it was going to end well. I need to be careful who I go out with,’” Davis recalled one student saying after the exercise.
Davis said that’s the point of the program.
“A lot of them said, ‘This stuff could be real,’” Grissom said.
The Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center also is using the “Safe Dates” curriculum, which came out of Jana’s Campaign. Kansas resident Jana Mackey was killed by an ex-boyfriend in 2008.
Grissom compressed the lessons into a weeklong curriculum and taught it in an introductory Family and Consumer Sciences class.
Hutchinson High teacher Karie Ohnmacht said she hopes to do it again next year.
Grissom talked about the signs that someone may be a victim and also the signs that someone may be an abuser.
High school junior Ciara Dunigan thought it was good to have the program, and freshman Lexi Kendall thinks it should be presented to even younger students.
“I honestly think it should be done in middle school,” Kendall said.
Davis has an educator’s background and thought students might be reluctant to talk. That wasn’t the case.
“They do talk,” Davis said. “They love it.”
Grissom said young men had a strong reaction.
“I think it made them think what healthy relationships look like,” Grissom said.
Some students could see their parents in the scenarios about unhealthy relationships, and some students could see their peers in manipulative relationships, they said.
“Oh, I have a friend who is all the time checking her phone,” Grissom recalled one student saying.
“They don’t realize the signs of extreme unhealthy jealousy,” Grissom added.
In May, Ohnmacht sent an email to Grissom:
“I was just talking with a student today who told me she broke up with her boyfriend because he hit her. She said your presentations were a big part of her making her decision! Success!”
Davis said the vision of the Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center is to develop a community that is free from domestic and sexual violence. Taking the message to teens who are starting to date is how they can make that vision a reality, she said.
“Eventually, we would like to work ourselves out of a job,” Davis said.
___
Information from: The Hutchinson (Kan.) News, http://www.hutchnews.com
HUTCHINSON, Kan. (AP) — The stories they brought into Hutchinson High School classroom this year were admittedly “edgy,” said Donna Davis.
“Charlene,” for example, had a father described as an attorney and a big shot in their town. She knew it made her parents uncomfortable that she dated “Derek,” a lower-income black teen. All she wanted from Derek was “his undying loyalty and 100 percent undivided attention,” Charlene said.
Derek couldn’t even believe Charlene gave him the time of day. “She is always taking me to cool places that I could never afford on my own,” he said. “I feel like I hit the jackpot with her, but sometimes it is a little hard.”
What could go wrong?
The Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center Inc. used this and other real stories about teen dating to teach students at Hutchinson High how to recognize abusive relationships in their peer groups. The center hopes to expand their outreach next school year. Davis, the center’s executive director, told The Hutchinson News that the organization is contacting other high schools and will be meeting with representatives at Hutchinson Community College in June.
Charlene and Derek’s story came from the learning kit, “In Their Shoes,” a class period-long program developed by the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence. While names have been changed, the stories are real — about teens attempting to leave a relationship at a dangerous time, being called names or put down by a partner in text messages. They illustrate how dating violence can begin in middle school or high school.
Kansas Student Dating Website
Sometimes dating violence isn’t a black eye. Sometimes it’s controlling and emotional abuse, as the stories in “In Their Shoes” demonstrate.
Hutchinson High School teacher Aaron Miller opened his health classes for the “In Their Shoes” program. The Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center provided the activity kit, and the students were paired for the dating scenarios, such as Charlene and Derek.
They had to make choices as the relationship progressed.
“They are all in relationship trauma of some kind,” said Erica Grissom, an advocate at Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center, of the young couples’ stories in “In Their Shoes.”
One of the characters in “In Their Shoes” is named Cara, but is based on the story of Dayna Fure, who was killed by her ex-boyfriend ten days before she turned 18.
?‘I really thought it was going to end well. I need to be careful who I go out with,’” Davis recalled one student saying after the exercise.
Davis said that’s the point of the program.
“A lot of them said, ‘This stuff could be real,’” Grissom said.
The Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center also is using the “Safe Dates” curriculum, which came out of Jana’s Campaign. Kansas resident Jana Mackey was killed by an ex-boyfriend in 2008.
Grissom compressed the lessons into a weeklong curriculum and taught it in an introductory Family and Consumer Sciences class.
Hutchinson High teacher Karie Ohnmacht said she hopes to do it again next year.
Grissom talked about the signs that someone may be a victim and also the signs that someone may be an abuser.
High school junior Ciara Dunigan thought it was good to have the program, and freshman Lexi Kendall thinks it should be presented to even younger students.
“I honestly think it should be done in middle school,” Kendall said.
Davis has an educator’s background and thought students might be reluctant to talk. That wasn’t the case.
“They do talk,” Davis said. “They love it.”
Grissom said young men had a strong reaction.
“I think it made them think what healthy relationships look like,” Grissom said.
Some students could see their parents in the scenarios about unhealthy relationships, and some students could see their peers in manipulative relationships, they said.
“Oh, I have a friend who is all the time checking her phone,” Grissom recalled one student saying.
“They don’t realize the signs of extreme unhealthy jealousy,” Grissom added.
In May, Ohnmacht sent an email to Grissom:
“I was just talking with a student today who told me she broke up with her boyfriend because he hit her. She said your presentations were a big part of her making her decision! Success!”
Davis said the vision of the Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center is to develop a community that is free from domestic and sexual violence. Taking the message to teens who are starting to date is how they can make that vision a reality, she said.
“Eventually, we would like to work ourselves out of a job,” Davis said.
___
Kansas Student Dating App
Information from: The Hutchinson (Kan.) News, http://www.hutchnews.com